Monday, July 12, 2010

By any other name.

I think I'd have a lot more interest in the swinging community if it wasn't called "swinging." Because I love the idea of fucking around a lot with other people's partners, but the name makes me worry that there will be guys with gold chains in their chest hair who want to call me a "groovy bird."

14 comments:

  1. Yo, toots, whatsamatta wit' bein' called a groovy bird? 'S like a guy can't give you a compliment. You's one uptight tomater.

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  2. I thought it was just me who felt this way.

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  3. It makes me think of playgrounds, personally!

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  4. My problem is that I swing dance, and I wouldn't want to get confused... *g*

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  5. I kind of want to do a themed halloween costume with my wife of "Two wild and crazy guys" - I figure it'll be a good way to bring up the topic in public and get away with it.

    "Come on foxes, lets swing."

    "Haha, yeah."

    "Oh we're totally serious. No backsies!"

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  6. I'd have more interest in the "swinging" community if they weren't generally hostile towards bi men.

    It seems to be a "straight men, straight or bi (and preferably bi) women only" community in most areas.

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  7. Hey baby, what's your sign?

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  8. @ Not Me:

    It's like that around here (eastern Mass) too. My friends who run the large local swinger parties are very tolerant (and also bdsm-friendly, going so far as to rent me one of their two party locations -- a building on their home property,no less -- for a bdsm party, for well under what they would've made for a swinger party), but the community as a whole is freaked out by bi males, whereas being bi as a woman is pretty much like counting as five-thirds of a person. The few bi male swingers I know mostly keep it quiet fromall but their closest (swinger) friends.

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  9. [...] the community as a whole is freaked out by bi males

    I wonder, if male bisexuality had the same sort of cultural "hotness" as female bisexuality, would we see a lot more otherwise straight guys explore at least the trappings of bisexuality?

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  10. It seems to be a "straight men, straight or bi (and preferably bi) women only" community in most areas.

    Well, that and only a subset of straight men. Everything I've experienced reinforces the idea that I'm not welcome there on my own merits, but maybe they'll tolerate my presence if I bring some woman along as my "ticket." Squick.

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  11. I wonder, if male bisexuality had the same sort of cultural "hotness" as female bisexuality, would we see a lot more otherwise straight guys explore at least the trappings of bisexuality?

    I'm gonna say yes. The goth community tends to be much more pro-genderbending and pro-boy/boy than other social cliques, and (coincidentally?) there are a lot of barsexual dudes to be found. Probably more genuinely bi dudes, too.

    (Barsexual: someone who'll make out with people of the same sex, but only in a bar or other public venue for the purpose of titillating onlookers.)

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  12. btw I've always hated the word "swinging", too, probably for the same reasons as Holly. My partner and I have discussed the idea of playing with other couples and are theoretically okay with it (maybe, kind of, someday...) - and it wouldn't be "poly" because we don't want outside relationships, just the physical stuff - but goddamn I so can't call it "swinging".

    It probably doesn't help that I was at an acquaintance's house once (years and years ago) and found a swinger magazine there. this was basically a big book of personal ads from couples looking for other couples to swap with - and there were a lot of pictures. The men were very much chest-hair-and-gold-chainy and the women all seemed to be in submissive "I'm offering myself up as an object so come and get me" poses. It wigged the fuck out of me.

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  13. I dunno. "Swinger" is how my stepdaughter identifies herself, and as she's in an open marriage, I guess it fits so long as it works for her.

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